Death and Dying and our ongoing relationship with our people

General Death & Dying
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Hi all, I just wanted to check out if anyone else has experienced death in a way that has broken them wide open and deepened every sense about the connection with our people on the flip side? I use the term flip side because it is a charged phrase for me, this is the phrase my beautiful son used ‘see you on the flip side’ in a note he left us just before he made his transition in a Cocaethylene induced suicide. He is one of many men who have left life as a result of the impact of a night out drinking alcohol and taking Cocaine.

That is just a little of our beautiful 26 year old loving beautiful man’s back story. I miss him with every heartbeat and every breath and the grief in the first year involved waves crashing and my soul being ripped apart in so many ways every day. HIs video message was all love, even in that delirium of Cocaethylene, his big beautiful heart and true nature shone through. I did not even know Shaun took Cocaine and I had no clue about these sudden deaths that are all too common as a result .

What I do know is that in that week before Shaun left us, on some level I knew something big was coming ( I did not know what) but I was down and depleted and scared and there were signs and communication from spirit that did not warn me of the exact nature but that strengthened the understanding I awoke to in 2007, that our loved ones are still with us when they drop their body. That we are all in this together and that this physical life is not it, this is just something we get to come and experience.

Now we are 18 months in and the signs and communication are daily from Shaun, he is still playful, he is still him and he is still loving me and being that same source of inspiration he was when he was here in the physical, not just to me but to so many beautiful people whose lives he touched. I think there is a little bit of me that just needed to share this as we move into this course together, I am changed, I am in grief and always will be but I am in love, truly as Ram Dass says, loving awareness.

It is like all the things I came to know back in 2007 when my eyes were fully opened and I could see, hear and sense it all, have now become my whole life; whereas back then and up to that moment my whole world stopped, I would just carry on with life as a university lecturer, conducting research - doing the personality of me as a nurse an academic and I didn’t really pay much attention to daily practice or the real work.

The ongoing relationship with Shaun is as real as when he was still here in his physical body and I am so very grateful for that and the way I am now surrendered fully to what my next right service should be. Moment by moment and day by day until I am fully back with my beautiful son.

I am sharing this to ask if there is anyone else on the course who has had a NDE themselves that changed their whole experience or have had someone they love make that crossing and the loss and grief changed you.

When I first heard Ram Dass talking about death and dying, it was such a full circle moment for me to have all the things I had learned be validated in his words, simple but powerful truths all illuminated one by one.

Sorry, I feel I have waffled on a little too much there but would love to hear if anyone has anything they would like to share.

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Hi Mandy.
Thank you for your beautiful sharing and for what it tells us, also, about the ongoing process of grief and the desire to deeply appreciate life at the same time. Thank you for the permission to share and modeling how important it is that we cocreate a culture where we can talk about these experiences, about our loved ones who are gone and our feelings and thoughts- one we will dance with the rest of our lives.
My husband and I lost our middle daughter (a bonus daughter to me) to suicide just over a year ago at the age of 27. His experience of loss and grief are more bone deep; all of us who were connected to and loved Sarah suffer, question what could have been done, try to remember more details- all of the things.
I love what you share about your connection with Shaun and look forward to exploring how more of us can cultivte this awareness to presence.
With deep gratitude for you openness, and honesty, and for sharing Shaun with us.

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I wish I could articulate as well as you. I can relate to your experience. I am sorry for the pain you have felt through the tradgedy of your son dropping his body so young. Your experience is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

I have felt my dad with me after his passing, I have received messages from him. He also died by suicide.

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HI Sharon, thank you so much for your clear and present response too and for sharing your experience of your daughter (bonus daughter) Sarah making her transition. :heartbeat: It is a ripple of pain and love that has such a deep and wide reach but the one thing I know from my experience of connection and I have heard Ram Dass talk about this too, is that, nobody arrives or leaves a moment before or after they are meant to and even the manner of the exit point are part of our life purpose. I sound quite healthy when I say that, but I have days where I cannot feel or comprehend that for the waves of grief crashing and the love falling from my eyes. I am hopeful we will be exploring some of those aspects in this course and that we can all connect in, drop into our hearts and experience that connection with Divine loving presence. I can be in meditation or a process for an hour and if I drop into that truth, even for a few seconds, it literally creates space and lifts and supports me all day long. It puts things into focus and perspective and helps me step out of the cultural norms and know that life on that other side of life is all love and so our people are all not just ok but amazing :orange_heart: I am truly grateful for your response Sharon. x

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Ah :heartbeat: I am so sorry you have had to walk through that journey, and I really do appreciate you sharing that, I know it is not an easy conversation to have. I love though, that you can feel your dad close by and that you received those messages. From my understanding, when the grief is thick and heavy, we are not resonating with our people, with that higher vibration and so we can’t see or feel or sense them with us or even notice the signs and messages. But, when we do understand the truth and know they are with us and we can be still and quiet and just allow, then it is a game changer. Thank you again for sharing that @K_123 xx

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Thank you Mandy. Hugs

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Very interesting. This topic is a common thought of mine regarding contact with deceased friends and family. I have not had the experience in an awakened state but only in dreams. Being that it has occurred in dreams it makes me wonder if its just my own energy creating a story (dream) of the person or the actual being making an appearance in a safe way.

There is only one instance where I had a surreal moment several months ago. Wife and I had some sort of an argument that morning. Unfortunately that occurs a few times a year and it wouldn’t be uncommon for us to not talk for the duration of the day while we ‘stew’ or in some cases when serious enough, not talking for a day or two does occur. So this day, I was convinced I would not talk to her until tomorrow . The day had gone by and it was mid-afternoon, I decided to meditate to clear my mind and get a good vibe back to my day. I got in it for about 30 minutes or so. Not too deep. During the end of the meditation my phone rings. Its my wife. I stopped the meditation as I peaked at the phone with one eye, and I didn’t want to miss her call. I picked up the phone and put it to my ear. At the moment I put the phone to my ear a man’s voice came through the phone and said loudly “Isn’t that great?” or something similar to that. I then said “Hello?” loudly back, and my wife’s voice said back “yes”, I said “Sara, Were you just blasting the radio?” and she said “No. The radio hasn’t been on at any point today.” And we talked briefly about other possibilites but there weren’t any. So anyway, since that incident, I believe a being whether known to me or not known (no idea bc the voice didn’t sound familiar), influenced my life that day by somehow acknowledging my thoughts and fears and getting my wife to call me and so our air cleared. When we talked further, there was no mention of the morning disagreement. Instead it was happy “just checking in on you” kind of phone call. My heart jumped a couple levels higher after we hung up as the voice I heard I attributed it to someone beyond helping me and her together move beyond our predicament. It made me think of Ram Dass’ stories of " Emmanuel".

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